Some
months ago, while a handsome gentleman and I talked about the changes he
observed in our society, and how difficult it may be formed his own family. We
arrived in a point, where he asked me the following question. ´´What do I
really need to know if the person I will get married is the right person.´´ Nevertheless,
before I responded him, I asked; ´´Why did you want to get married with a right
person? How did you define her? What did expect or look for about this person? He
did not hesitate to enumerate some countless qualities and values, at the end
of his long and extensive list, my request was; did you have those qualities
you mentioned? He responded, not all of them. But, why did you require all
those qualities? I said. In spite his because… he was not convincing me.
Therefore, I invited him to be diligent and prepare first in those qualities he
looks for, before he spent his journey look them from other. We read together
Proverbs 21:5; ´´The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but
of every one that is hasty only to want´´
Probably
this question could be not the same for you, but most people tend to formulate
it differently before they initiated a courtship or when they did think about
happiness in marriage. However, when I'm referring to happiness in marriage, I
am not referring in the exemption of the problems that may arise, instead I
have in mind for happiness ´´the ability the couple may have to face any
circumstances or challenges successfully and move towards their purpose
joyful´´ His enthusiasms was avoiding to ask not first for the right person,
but to look for himself if he´s able to consider himself as the ideal person
for her partner. Even if, after my warning I could see in his bright eyes
certain disconformities and disappointments, he may be expected to elaborate a
good list with all the main ingredients to achieve such compatibility in
response. However, this has not been the case; happiness is achieved with
effort to advance and courage to make the necessary changes in our lives to
adapt.
Something
I often observe, and I think it will become more controversial topic in our
society, the way this generation tend to present ´´love´´ in our music, social
media, movies and internet have influenced the way people think about their
future spouse can be. However, for the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Days Saints, they should not be so worrisome; repeatedly the Savior
invites us to establish our foundation upon the Rock, which is his gospel.
After some exchanges, I realized his concern is more about he wants, instead what
he really needed. Although, he knew that He needs to seek first the kingdom of
God and his justice, and other things come in addition. I felt that he acted
like Peter walking on the water, but paying more attention than what happened
around him. This feeling helped me to see that we were able to centralize our
conversation in a central point that is immovable, and may allow him to perceive
the positive side of things. It is better to know who you are before any
adventure, so you can be before making any decision before marriage
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